Medicate

You wanna know something that stings? When you kiss the person that you are completely in love with and you know when you look in their eyes afterwards and they felt nothing.

Anyways, Last night I hung out with my friend Abby ( Yes I know our names are similar, Abigail and Abby :p) It wasn't as painful as I thought it was going to be but it was still awkward as all get out.  I don't know when it was that we completely lost touch with each other but we did and we both know it we just refuse to say it out loud. Anyways, we always have a hard time finding stuff to do since she doesn't like to make decisions and most of the stuff that I like to do she doesn't. :/

I randomly got a text when we were trying to decide what to do from one of my friends who wanted me to come out and say hey as she celebrated her birthday at Skully's ( a local music bar that has great drinks) I mentioned it to and she agreed that it might be fun. So we went to say hi. It was pretty fun for me, I got to see a pretty good concert ( House of Heroes) despite, Mr. Drunkie drunk and his girlfriend showering everyone with their nasty alcohol. I mean honestly, if you're gonna be a public drunk at least drink good stuff. Abby on the other hand looked like she was bored out of her mind. I kept asking her if she was alright or if she wanted to leave but she said she was ok. I felt kinda bad because it looked like she was having a bad time.

After the concert we said our good byes to Beth and her friends and we tried to find some of our friends to go out to a bar with ourselves and have a drink. I never realized it but all of my friends that I can legally go out to the bar and have a drink with I can count on one hand.AND they were all out of town for the holiday. The same for Abby. So we, more like I, decide to go and have a drink by ourselves, you know, good music decent atmosphere, catch up a bit. So we walk over to Surly Girl Saloon, one of my favorites. So we go in and sit, I say hi to Billy, one of the bar tenders and we order our drinks an have a seat. we sit there for 10 minutes, her texting on her phone and  me asking her questions which she either ignores or nods as a reply. So I just stop talking and start looking around the bar sipping on my drink. After about another five minutes she looks up and says that I'm so quiet. I told her that it was because obviously  she was too busy to talk to me... I know it was kinda mean but I was mad, She was here with me and the other people wern't.

So we talk for a few more minutes and then were back to a stale mate. By this time I'm tired, I had a long day and I was tired of carrying the conversation, so I down the rest of my drink and I pay my tab and I tell her that Ill see her tomorrow, I wanted to get home before it started raining. She nodded in agreement and we went home.

On the way home she asks if  I'm mad. For a second I almost say no but I actually am. I tell her that I don't like going out with her because she clams up and goes into her own little world and I'm stuck trying to pull he out of it if I want to have any sort of contact with her. She says oh and keeps driving.

Im honestly tired of it. Its up to her if she wants this relationship to work. Im at the half way point.... I doubt she'll show up.